5/8/09

Cold Sweat, Hot Sweat, It ain't menopause yet...

Wow. Things are getting hot in my brain. Yesterday I did my entire yoga practice with my novel swirling in my head. Every time I caught my mind wandering away, I reminded myself to just breathe, and stay focused on my breath. But my novel would have none of it. No, my novel has been pushing itself into every thought and conversation and demanding that I figure out where it goes next. It taunts me with questions about point of view and changes in time, it tells me that I have to go back and forth between the past and the future, but it doesn't tell me how and when I think I am just going to chuck it, it calls me a phoney. Oh boy, this one is a bugger, make no mistake about it, and I think it could be fabulous, or it could crush me.

The thing is, I think that this novel is bigger and better than I am and even though I have had the idea swirling in my head for years, yup years, I have kept it at a distance. I have ignored it's advances, knowing that this isn't one that I can just date. No, this one I gotta marry. It's a big commitment and I just hope that I can go through with it, and not run away at the altar. Last night I got cold feet. I dreamt about my novel and panicked and woke up in a cold sweat, then a hot sweat and then jumped out of bed thinking, I don't know if I can do this!

Sigh. I think I am going to try and rewrite the entire thing this weekend in 3rd person and see where that takes me. Madness I know. But I have to figure this thing out. One of the things that keeps me going is that a fabulous writer friend of mine, told me once that she had done 11 revisions on her last novel. 11!! She had finished the book, then taken it apart completely, realizing that there were 2 different stories in there, then put it back together again...11 times. Cue the sound of horror film screaming!! Thankfully, I am at page 50, and if any surgery is going to get done, it's now.

What about you? Have you ever written something and then entirely rewritten it once you thought you were done?

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